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Staggering through Hollywood with an eager nose and a sharp tongue.
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The Good Shit | Twitter | Gmail | RSS
Staggering through Hollywood with an eager nose and a sharp tongue.
Dear Coke Talk | Ask Me Anything
The Good Shit | Twitter | Gmail | RSS
A friend of mine has a roommate who voted Yes on Prop 8, the California ballot measure that made it unconstitutional for gays to marry in my state.
I know this because my friend just asked for my advice on how to handle her. They’ve known each other all their lives — childhood friends who these days don’t seem to have anything in common other than childhood.
Until now, it hasn’t really been an open problem, but it’s turning into one.
The roommate is a sweet but very naive young girl. Lately, she’s discovered just how much fun it is to go out partying with our flamboyantly gay friends. She loves them. She thinks they’re great. She just doesn’t think they deserve equal rights. (The great irony here being that she also happens to be black.)
All of this might have been overlooked had Maine not recently been in the news, but now it’s this big ugly thing between them.
The roommate has asked my friend to lie — that’s right, lie on her behalf so as not to offend our gay friends.
Rightfully, my friend refuses to lie. She wants her roommate to suffer the social consequences of her beliefs — as well she should.
Thing is, my friend is a better person than me. I would have kicked her out of the house the second I heard she voted Yes on Prop 8.
Naive childhood friend or not, there are times when a harsh lesson is in order.
If it were up to me, the consequences wouldn’t have been mild embarrassment. The consequences would have been banishment. Total fucking exile.
We live in a world that is almost all grey area, but on those rare occasions when things are pure black and white, you pick a fucking side and you defend it.
This is one of those occasions.
If you vote to ban gay marriage, you are a small-minded bigot. You are wrong. You are the enemy. No exceptions.
"I’m still pretty dumb about girl stuff. For a while I said, ‘Ah, girls are stupid.’ But after seeing all these Jeanne Moreau movies, I think being a girl is where it’s at. Like when I’m about thirty-five I’m gonna start wearing black cocktail dresses and become a real cunt."
patti smith (via godvomit)
Damn. This happens every year. I’m inspired by the perfect costume a week after Halloween.
If your sex toys run out of batteries, keep the party going by switching them out with the ones in the hotel’s remote controls.
No shit. This actually happened to me. I had a broken condom incident one night at the Sundance Film Festival back in 2005. Luckily, one of my traveling companions was a doctor who immediately wrote me a script for the morning after pill. Problem was, I was in fucking Utah surrounded by a bunch of Mormons. There was only one pharmacy in town that actually stocked the prescription, and the holy-rolling cunt at the window straight up refused to fill it. I was standing there in an major chain pharmacy with a legitimate medical prescription being handed a scarlet letter by a bible thumping pharmacy tech. She actually used the phrase “whoring around.” I went fucking nuclear. Words cannot describe the wrath and fury I unleashed on that sanctimonious bitch. She threatened to call the police. I’m pretty sure I threatened to burn down her church. Ultimately, it came down to the general manager and the security guard pleading with her boss to fill the script just so I would leave. I still get angry when I think about it.
Something about this pic was getting me hot. Then I noticed, those hardcore motherfuckers welded together a special steel contraption just for eating pussy. It has stirrups and everything.
On teenage sweethearts. ※ On asking for help. ※ On friends who rat. ※ On internet porn. ※ On asking the wrong girl for advice. ※ On long-distance relations. ※ On getting more head. ※ On overthinking bisexuality. ※ On why the hell not. ※ On hyperbole. ※ On just doing it. Literally. ※ On dream jobs. ※ On cleansing. ※ On summer love. ※ On getting some no-joke therapy. ※ On breaking up with a fuck buddy. ※ On falling out of love. ※ On white trash. ※ On blow jobs.
When I stop and think how much tangible influence Mark Hunter and Mario Lavandeira have had on popular culture over the past half decade, I want to slit my fucking wrists.
I suppose in some ways you have to respect their game, but come on. Look at these two dough balls.
Previous generations had men like Alfred Eisenstaedt and Hunter S. Thompson as chroniclers of cool. We get the Cobrasnake and Perez Hilton.
"May your life be a decadent orgy of wasteful delight in the pursuit meaningless indulgence."
